Joe Posnanski
Menu
  • Home
  • Books
  • Passions in America
  • The Athletic
  • Baseball 100
  • JoeWords
  • About Joe
    • Contact
Menu

JoeWords

look_it_up_T

Belichize (BEL-a-chyz), verb, to take the easy and wrong lesson from a success story.

Blatt (BLATT), verb, the act of continuing to talk on the cell phone after the call has been dropped.

Clemenate (KLEM-a-nayt), verb, to hate an athlete in an entirely healthy, fun sports way (rather than hating them in a crazed, stalking, loaded gun, insane sort of way).

Diloneism (Di-lo-NAY-ism), noun, the misguided belief that your success is directly attributable to what is actually your biggest weakness.

E-migo (EE-mee-go), noun, a friend you have never really met and don’t really know but keep up with through various Internet means such as email, instant messaging and Facebook.

Fanbole (FAN-bow-lee), noun, a sweeping, exaggerated and often ludicrous sports statement that a fan makes when under the influence of an emotional sports event (and perhaps various substances).

Idoca (EYE-doh-kah), noun, an exclamation made when prompted by something so uninteresting to you that you cannot summon the passion to enunciate the entire phrase: ‘I don’t care.

The Gloaden Rule:
1. Use Ross Gload correctly, he will help your team win games.
2. Use Ross Gload incorrectly, he will get you fired.

Gleng (GLENG), verb, the act of pulling the car door handle at precisely the same instant that driver is attempting to unlock the door, thus nullifying the unlock action. Example: If you gleng one more time, man, I’m going to just leave you here.

The Hitler As Symbol Chart
Rule 1: It is never a good idea to invoke the name of Hitler to make an unrelated sports-related point — or any unrelated point.
Rule 2: However, if you plan going to bring up Hitler in historical context, see Rule 1.
Rule 3: In certain rare cases, when you are interested in using Hitler to prove a larger truth, see Rule 1.
Rule 4: The one exception to this is … See Rule 1.
Rule 5: Yeah. Rule 1. Always.

Hotel Rwanda Syndrome: Involves a movie that you really want to see when the mood is right … only the mood is never right.

Jeterate (JEET-ur-ayt), verb, to praise someone for something which he or she is entirely unworthy of praise.

Missage (MISS-ij), noun, the awkward and pointless voice mail message you leave on someone’s cell phone at precisely the same instant that the person is calling you back. Example: “So, listen, ARRR, that’s you calling me back on the other line, so you can just ignore this.”

Perquist [PURR-kwist], adj., a golf shot that does not go into the hole and, as such, falls short of perfection. But is still, like, a really skillful shot.

Pixifood (PIKZ-ee-food), noun: Any food substance that is highly pleasant to the taste as a child and tastes shockingly unpleasant once you become an adult.

Pribbie (PRI-bee), noun. A padded or pointless RBI, usually coming at the end of of a blowout game. Baseball fans will usually say that a player they don’t like gets a lot of pribbies.

Pozterisk (PAHZ-tur-isk), noun. An aside that has nothing whatsoever to do with anything but is thrown into the middle of the story because the author thinks it’s funny.

Pujols (POO-hols), verb. To thoroughly silence a sports crowd.

Solidy Start (SAHL-uh-dee start), noun. When a pitcher throws exactly six innings and allows exactly three earned runs.

The Tao of Clutchiness — The philosophy that some players are made of stronger stuff than the rest of us and become better players when the situation demands it.

Tosmos (TAHZ-moze), noun. Television shows that you have never actually seen but know the complete plot based entirely on commercials, word of mouth and diffusion.

Trailer Knowledge, noun. The thin knowledge of any bit of entertainment — movie, television show, book, etc. — that is gained solely by watching the trailer.

Twex (Tweks), verb. To tweet something instantly, emotionally and without almost immediate regret. Can also be the noun to describe the tweet as in, “Yeah, sorry about that twex, I didn’t mean it.”

Vegas Walk, noun. A walk that, by all appearances, promises to be relatively short but ends up being preposterously long. Example: “Sorry I’m late, but I decided to get a little exercise and that turned out to be a Vegas Walk.”

Volumate, verb. The act of necessarily using the remote control to constantly regulate the volume — raising it and lowering it as needed — while watching a DVD.

12 thoughts on “JoeWords”

  1. Avatar P.J. says:
    December 11, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    To Posnanski: To try too hard on stuff like made-up words.

    Log in to Reply
  2. Pingback: Derek Jeter’s great, but let’s compare to Alan Trammell | HardballTalk
  3. Pingback: No, Alan Trammell Isn’t In The Same Rarefied Air As Derek Jeter People « You're Killin' Me, Smalls!
  4. Avatar BRefPlayIndex says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Enjoyed this quite a bit

    Log in to Reply
  5. Pingback: Can The World Cup Help With Friendships Among International Students?
  6. Pingback: Long Overdue Update Post! | Raising Hellions
  7. Pingback: Coming to terms with Baseball | Jane M Tucker
  8. Avatar mockprof says:
    November 29, 2014 at 4:48 am

    If only this glossary had links to the passages where you coined/used the terms.

    Log in to Reply
  9. Pingback: Grounded Parents | Skepchick Network Assemble!!! Chi-Fi 2015
  10. Avatar tentcards.net says:
    May 31, 2017 at 12:45 am

    I have a somewhat similar I wanted something faster that I could modify, so I bought an I haven’t modified it

    Log in to Reply
  11. Avatar Zeke says:
    September 2, 2017 at 3:00 am

    Am I correct to assume that the root of “diloneism” is Diloné, as in Miguel Diloné? If so, will you, please, elaborate on what it was about him/his career that led you to this definition? I’m dying to know.

    Log in to Reply
  12. Avatar Josh L says:
    September 29, 2018 at 3:11 am

    Sad to see that “Tigerage” a.k.a. “courage” in sports context, did not make the list.

    Log in to Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Become a JoeBlogs Member!

Archives

  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • January 2010
  • April 2009
  • September 2008
  • September 2007
  • April 2003
©2021 Joe Posnanski